I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
