My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
