That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
