Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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