It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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