How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
