hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
