i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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