Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
