you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
