suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
