I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
