He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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