He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize