I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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