need another drink. this is the easiest way
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I understand Curling. That high.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
