Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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