I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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