FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
