We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
