So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
