You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
