Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize