Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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