Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
