who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
