Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
