I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
