my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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