i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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