it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
