Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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