The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
