I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
