How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
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