I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
