Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
