Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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