Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
