we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Are we still banned from the library?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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