Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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