your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
