well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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