I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
