i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
