Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
