Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
