i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
