we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
