They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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