Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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