saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He better not be in your backpack
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
there is glitter all over my balls
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