Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
