I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
