I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
