I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
