Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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