It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
