you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
