Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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