WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
