I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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