please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
