What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can I color on your dick again?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
