This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
