So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
