Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you will always have a special place in my vag
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
