they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
