We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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