He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
